Destressing Christmas, Part 2 - Think through your family/friendship needs and commitments

THINK THROUGH YOUR FAMILY/FRIENDSHIP NEEDS AND COMMITMENTS

Be realistic about what your children (if applicable) will enjoy, understand, and be capable of doing in light of their ages. For example, if you always went to see The Nutcracker at Christmas time, but your children are 3 and 5, wait until they (and you!) will enjoy it more. And don't over-schedule.

Consider family problems when planning gatherings. Be proactive in order to minimize Uncle John's drinking problem by having a brunch rather than a dinner. If cousin Sally's conversation is predominantly negative or a never-ending flow, plan some conversation starters or games to reduce her dominance.

If it's just too difficult for you to travel during the holidays, don't let others guilt-trip you into travelling anyway. Be honest and stick to your guns for the benefit of you and/or your family. Invite your relatives to visit you (if that is better for you) or suggest another time of year for a visit when life is less hectic.

If getting together with your relatives is too painful or unhealthy, give yourself permission not to attend. If you, your spouse, or your children are subjected to verbal, emotional or physcial abuse, don't put yourself in this unsafe place. Even if it hurts others' feelings, you cannot allow yourself to condone unhealthy or painful treatment by attending.

Choose whom you want to spend time with over the holidays - friends or family who refresh, encourage, and cheer you. Take the initiative to make that happen.

Destressing Christmas, Part 1 - Think through your expectations

As your anticipate the holidays, think through your expectations. Talk with your family members or those with whom you will be spending the holiday season. Ask what is important to them to celebrate at Christmas - activities, traditions, food, spiritual emphasis, giving, service opportunities, etc. This is the time to determine what is important to emphasize.

Make a list of all your traditions, from decorating to Christmas caroling. Keep the ones you love (forget about impressing other people), and cross off the ones you don't. I have a tendency to feel I needed to incorporate all we had ever done, but it's rediculous if no one wants to do it!

Be flexible when things don't fit with your expectations. Christmas Day doesn't have to happen on December 25th. When we lived in Kenya, we worked with an expatriot medical team who usually gave their staff Christmas Day off. So we celebrated Christmas as a team on other days. My husband and I are going to my parents' home for Thanksgiving, but have to fly on Thanksgiving. So we are celebrating on Friday instead of Thanksgiving. Our children won't be with us for Christmas, but we'll adjust.

Enjoy the moment rather than compare it to memories or expectations. Be present and relish what is happening. And if it's not the greatest, do what you can to make it pleasant. Be other-centered instead of self-centered.

Keep a sense of humor. I like things to match and I appreciate beauty. However, my son-in-law insisted on placing a very ugly decoration on the tree one year. I did manage to resist my urge to snatch it off the tree, and we left it on the tree for giggles. It has now become a tradition.

Be realistic!!! Know what you can handle and what you cannot. Each year is different. One year we were moving right after Christmas and our holiday traditions were very few. Other years I decided to have a theme - starts, hearts, trees, etc. But after a few years, the number of decorations were getting out of hand so I stopped that tradition. Don't hesitate to limit activities so you can enjoy the season!!

Tomorrow we'll think through family/friendship needs and commitments.

More about cookies

Speaking of cookies (see yesterday's blog), let me pass on an idea that my friend Pam and I have done to get ready for Christmas cookie baking. We used to set aside a day in December and make Christmas cookies all day, split them and stock our freezers. But that was pretty exhausting.

Then one year, we couldn't find a date in December and that changed things from then on. We decided to get together in November and just make the dough, freeze it in small batches, and cook as needed. It's so easy to just thaw a small amount, form into cookies, and bake! All the work and mess is over with and you have fresh baked cookies in a jiffy when you need them.

And the bonus was getting to spend the day with a friend!

Cookies, Cookies, Cookies

My daughter Sara sent me this amazing list of cookie recipes. Thought you might like it as the holidays approach.

1-2-3 Cookies 7 Layer Cookies Allie Nelson's Famous Snickerdoodle Cookies Almond Crescent Shortbread Amish Sugar Cookies Andies Candies Cookies Angel Crisps Angenets Applesauce Cookies Apricot Fold-Overs Aunt Edy's Molasses Crinkles Auntie Linda's Ginger Gems Bakeless Dream Cookies Banana Drop Cookies Best Chocolate Chip Cookies in the World Biscotti Biscotti Blueberry Cookies Boiled Chocolate Oatmeal Drop Cookies Bronwnies Brown Sugar Shortbread Brownie Cookies Brownie Delight Brownies Buccaneer Snowballs Buried Cherry Cookies Butter Cookies Butter Nut Balls Butterballs Butterscotch Haystacks C.O.P. Cookies Candy Cane Cookies Candy Cookies Caramel Shortbread Cheesecake Brownies Cherry Buns Cherry Crowns Cherry Winks Chewies Chewy Noels Chinese Chews/Haystacks Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars Chocolate Chip Cookies Chocolate Chip Meltaways Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookies Chocolate Christmas Trees Chocolate Cream Cheese Squares Chocolate Crinkles Chocolate Mint Snow-Top Cookies Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies (no bake) Chocolate Snowball Cookies Chocolate Streusel Bars Chocolate Sundae Cookies Chocolate Walnut Crumb Bars Choco-Scotch Crunchies Choose A Cookie Dough Recipe Christmas Crackers Christmas Crunch Bars Christmas Ginger Snaps Christmas Macaroons Christmas Mice Cookies Christmas Shaped Cookies Church Window Cookies Coconut Cookies Congo Squares Cookie in a Jar Corn Flakes Cookies Cornflake Christmas Wreaths Cowboy Cookies (oatmeal) Cream Cheese Cookies with Apricot Filling Crème De Menthe Chocolate Squares Crème Wafers Crescent Cookies Crispy Crunchies Date Nut Balls Date-nut Pinwheel Cookies Diabetic Peanut Butter Cookies Disgustingly Rich Brownies Doodles Double chocolate chip cookies Double-Chocolate Crinkles Eatmore Cookies Eggnog Cookies Elizabeth's Sugar Cookies Elves Quick Fudge Brownies Emily Dickinson's Gingerbread Cookie Recipe Emily's Best Brownies Famous Oatmeal Cookies Firemen Cookies Fluffy Shortbread Cookies Forgotten Cookies Frosted Peanut Butter Brownies Fruit Cake Cookies Fruitcake Squares Fry Pan Cookies Gems Ginger Cookies Ginger Crinkles Gingerbread Baby Gingerbread Cookies with Butter Cream Icing Gingerbread Men Gingerbread Men Ginny's Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies Glory's Golden Graham Squares Glory's Sugar Cookies Gramma Chapman's chocolate coconut drops Grandma Elsie's Zimt (cinnamon) Cookies Grandma J's Butter Cookies Grandma Olson's Parkay Cookies Great Grandmothers Sugar Cookies Gum Drop Cookies Gumdrop Gems Haystack Cookies Ho-Ho Bars Holiday Cereal Snaps Holiday Chocolate Butter Cookies Holiday Raisin Walnut Bars Holly Cookies Hungarian Cookies (Little Nut Rolls) Ice Box Cookies Irresistible Peanut Butter Cookies Italian Cookies Jacob's Peppermint Snowballs Jam Bars Jessica's Famous Brownies Jessie's Chocolate Chip Cookies Jubilee Jumbles Juliet's Peanut Butter Blossoms Jumbo Chocolate Chip Cookies Kentucky Colonels Kiefle (cream cheese cookies with jam filling) Kifflings Kiss Cookies Lacy Swedish Almond Wafers Lemon Angel Bar Cookies Lemon Bars Lemon Cake Cookies Lemon Cream Cheese Cookies Lemon Squares Linzer Tarts Log Cabin Cookies Luscious Lemon Squares M&M Cookies Magic Cookie Bars Melt in Your Mouth Cutout Sugar Cookies Melting Shortbread Meme's Cream Cheese Cookies Milk Chocolate Florentine Cookies Mincemeat Cookies Mincemeat Goodies Molasses Cookies Molasses Forest Cookies Molasses Sugar Cookies Mom Mom's Crescent Cookies Mom-Mom's Ginger Cookies Mom's Nutmeg Sugar Cookies Mom's Old Fashion "Puffy" Sugar Cookies Monster Cookies Moravian Christmas Cookies Nana's Famous Soft Southern Cookies Nitey Nite Cookies No Bake Chocolate Cookies No Bake Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies No Bake Cookies No Bake Cookies No Bake Peanut Butter Cookies No-Bake Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies No-Bake Cookies Norwegian Sugar Cookies Nut Balls Oatmeal Bars Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Nut Cookies Oatmeal Coconut Crisps Oatmeal Cookies Oatmeal Scotchies Old Fashioned Sugar Cookies Ooey Gooey Caramel Chocolate Dunk Ooey Gooey Squares Orange Slice Cookies Parking Lot Cookies Peanut Blossoms Peanut Butter Bars Peanut Butter Blossoms Peanut Butter Cereal Cookies Peanut Butter Chewies Peanut Butter Chocolate Bars Peanut Butter Cookies Peanut Butter Cookies Peanut butter fingers Peanut Butter Reindeer Peanut Butter Surprises Peanut Marshmallow Cookies Pecan Puff Cookies Peppermint Snowballs Peppernuts Persimmon Cookies Persimmon Cookies Petey's Yummy Spicy Almond Thins Pfeffernuesse Pffefferneuse Cookies Pineapple Filled Cookies Pizzelles Potato Chip Cookies Potato Flake Cookies Praline Cookies Praline Strips Pterodactyl Nests Pumpkin Bars Pumpkin Bars Pumpkin Chip Cookies Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies Pumpkin Cookies Queen Biscuits Quick Cookies Raised Sugar Cookies Raisin Filled Oatmeal Bars Raspberry Meringue Bars Really Peanutty Butter Cookies Reese`s Brownies Reese's Peanut Butter Bars Rich Flavor Christmas Cookies Rich Lemon Bars Ricotta Cheese Cookies Royal Almond Christmas Bars Rudolph Cinnamon Cookies Russian Tea Cookies Russian Teacakes Samantha & Kelsey's Chocolate Chip Cookies Sand Art Brownies Santa Claus Cookie Pops Santa Claus Cookies Santa's Butterscotch Melts Santa's Shorts Santa's Special Squares Scotch Cakes Scotch Shortbread Scotcharoos Scotcheroos Seven Layer Cookies Short Bread Cookies Shortbread Skor Squares Snicker Doodle Cookies Snickerdoodles Snickerdoodles Snow Balls Sour Cream Apple Squares Sour Cream Christmas Cookies Special K Cookies Spice Cookies Spicy Oatmeal Raisin Cookie Spritz Cookies Stained Glass Window Cookies Stir & Drop Sugar Cookies Sugar Cookies Sugar Cookies Sugar Cookies Swedish Pepparkakor (Pepper Cake) Cookies Swedish Sugar Cookies Sweet Marie's Swiss Treats Taralle (Italian Cookies) Tea Time Tassies Texas Brownies The Best Shortbread in The World Thumbprint Cookies Thumbprint Cookies Toffee Squares Traditional Christmas Sugar Cookies Traditional Gingerbread Men Cookies Triple-Chocolate Chip Cookies Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies Vanilla Waffer Balls Walnut Butter Cookies Walnut Crumb Bars White Chip Chocolate Cookies Wild Oatmeal Cookies Will's Famous Apple Jack Cookies Yummy Yummy Peanut Butter Blossoms

Organizing Drawers

A good plce to start decluttering is by tackling one drawer, especially if you're overwhelmed with your clutter. By accomplishing that one task, it's extremely fulfilling and it gives you the motivation to go on to other tasks.

Use small boxes or crates you can pick up at the dollar store, Target, etc., to organize like items. In your bathroom, organizing boxes can hold make-up; dental hygiene, meds, razors, and other such items. In the kitchen, use boxes to hold measuring spoons, twist ties, small utensils, corn-on-the-cob holders, and paring knives. You can also use drawer organizers in the office and in the kitchen for your junk drawer. In your child's room, small crates can hold toys with many small pieces, art supplies, or collections.

By having drawer organizers, your drawer is no longer an abyss where things are never seen again. What a time-saver to go to that drawer and find what you need! And you remove a source of frustration and chaos from your life - how peaceful!

Tackle the Clutter before Christmas

Take the time before you decorate for Christmas to attack your clutter. Divide your home into four areas and tackle one area each week before Thanksgiving. Before you clutter your house with Christmas decorations, cards, extra food, etc., clear out unecessary stuff.

As you comb each area, ask yourself if you've used it recently, if it adds value to your life, if it has a home.

One area should include your child's room(s) to make room for Christmas presents.

I found out yesterday that at some Goodwill Stores, you receive a discount coupon if you bring in things to donate! Just be careful not to fill up the areas you decluttered!

Feeling Overwhelmed? Organize Your Priorities

Today I was feeling overwhelmed by some tasks before me - several of which are new territory, things I've not done before - marketing my new books, arranging for book signings, etc. As I always tell my clients: take bite-sized chunks and break it down into small pieces.

So, I followed my own advice and prioritized my to-do list, determining what was most important for me to do. Then I bit off a couple of those tasks and got rid of them! It helps to just get moving forward when you're feeling paralyzed, doesn't it? The hardest part is just getting started sometimes.

I felt much better and even got to do some things farther down on my priority list that I really wanted to do!

Donating Business Clothing for Job Interviews

Yesterday my husband and I swapped out our clothes from summer to winter. As we both have lost some weight, we have quite a few clothes to donate. I recently watched a video about a women's shelter in our area, and I am very motivated to donate toward helping these women get back on their feet. Many of these women have had successful jobs, been downsized (or had other devastating circumstances), and end up at the shelter.

Access, the name of our shelter (www.access-shelter.org), has a two-year program for a small number of women to help them get out of debt, get education, find a job, etc. Having clothing to wear to work or job interviews gives them a leg up. As you swap out your clothes and evalute them, consider donating business attire you no longer wear to a local shelter or www.DressforSuccess.org or www.CareerGear.org (for men).

Don't forget to calculate your tax deduction. The Salvation Army has a valuation guide to help you determine the value of the clothing you donate. They give a high estimate and a low estimate, and you can determine where your clothing falls within those guidelines. The amount is based on what your clothing would sell for at a consignmen shop. http://www.salvationarmyusa.org/usn/www_usn.nsf/vw-search/85256DDC007274DF80256B80003D22FC?opendocument

Get Started on Your Christmas Cards

Why wait until later to start addressing your Christmas cards? You can do it now while you watch TV or a movie or during other down time. It takes no time to whip through those addresses! Just make sure to update your address list first.

If you include a letter in your Christmas mailings, start thinking about what you want to say, if you want to include a picture, etc. By doing these tasks now, you save stress during the hectic holidays.

I've started sending out Christmas letters via email to those whose email addresses I know. It saves a bunch of time, money and the environment!

Organize for the Holidays

October is a great month to get ahead on some of your holiday organizing. For example, before things get more hectic, take some time this month to clean your carpets. That way, your house will look spiffy for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Plan to do it on a day when the entire household can help move things around, if others are of the age to help. If not, farm out your small children or take a personal day off from work so you can focus on the task. Pick a cool day so your heater will help the carpet dry out.

Or have someone come in and clean your carpets for you. Make sure you understand what they will do and will not do - move furniture, etc.

While the furniture is moved, take the time to dust or clean those hard-to-reach areas.

While replacing furniture, declutter as you go - get rid of unnecessary or excessive stuff that is cluttering up your house.

What a wonderful job done! Don't you feel lighter and very organized?!?

Winterizing your garden

It's time to think about winterizing your garden, depending on when cold weather arrives in your area. Here in Ohio, we're looking at some cooler weather in a day or two after unusually warm days. So it's time to think about getting ready. My husband drained the hose and rolled it up on its carrier and stored it in the garage.

We're hoping to get one last coat of paint on the fence before cold weather hits. We've taken out the tomato plants and annual flowers, shored up the raspberry bushes, replanted some carnations I started this year, fertiziled the grass (this is the best time to do it - not spring), and trimmed down some of the perennial flowers.

You may want to put winter tools (shovels, snow blowers, etc. closer to the front of your garage and place gardening supplies and tools toward the back. We'll eventually move our patio table into the garage.

Some of my herbs have been prolific, so I'm trying my hand at drying them. A friend suggested cutting the herbs, washing them off, banding them with rubber bands (so that when they dry out and decrease in size they don't fall down), and hang them upside down in an area with lots of ventilation. My kitchen has a peg board above a wide doorway, which hopefully will be a perfect spot.

I'm hoping to give my home-made dried herbs as Christmas gifts to friends and family. I'll keep you posted.

Home repairs create opportunities to deep clean

We just had our windows replaced. Even though it has been a mess, it has created some opportunity to do some deep cleaning. With all the furniture moved out from the windows, we used the chance to vacuum in those spots rarely vacuumed. It adds extra work, but in the long run, it's easier than having to move all the furniture at another time.

If you have a home project going on, take advantage of such opportunities to do a little extra cleaning if the chance presents itself.

Declutter as You Change Your Seasonal Clothes

Fall is a great time to declutter and purge. The crisp air is somehow energizing.

If you must swap out your clothes to prepare for cool weather coming, take the opportunity to purge. Ask yourself: Do I love this article of clothing? Does it make me feel fabulous? Have I been waiting too long to get into this size? Is it out of date? Is it shabby? Have I worn it in the last year?

Do the same with shoes, purses, belts, underwear and socks.

Make sure you leave out a couple of warm weather outfits for those occasional warm days still lurking around.

Next, organize your clothing according to style (casual, dressy casual, dressy), type (pants, sweaters, etc.), length (short sleeve, 3/4 sleeve, long sleeve; long pants, capri length, etc.), and color - put like colors together.

With a glance you can evaluate your shoppping needs. And getting dressed in the morning just got easier! Now your closet will have breathing room - your clothes will not get wrinkled from being too crowded.

Doesn't that feel good?

Fall decluttering

Fall is a great time to declutter a room! We recently decluttered our rec room - we wanted to take out a bookcase to create more space, and we needed to get rid of enough books to do that! It allowed us to rearrange furniture and create a game area. How refreshing to pare down even more than you think possible! Gives you a lean feeling.

To declutter a room, envision what you want to accomplish in that room. Take out everything that does not lend itself to the functions of that room. Go through everything in the room and determine what is still useful. The items that don't belong in that room can be placed in a more appropriate location or given to charity, a friend, or to the trash bin if unusable. Reorganize, if necessary, to achieve a more functional room - putting like items together. See Three Steps to Decluttering for a step-by-step guide to decluttering (www.1-2-3GetOrganized.com).

Organizing information about your home

I have discovered a great resource for organizing information about your home:
- inventory with pictures
- paint, fabric, carpet colors/brands
- appliance warranties
- maintenance schedule and reminders
- purchase and replacement costs.

It's a residential maintenance plan - software that walks you through as much or as little information as you want to keep about your home. And it's all in one place - your computer! No longer do you need to hunt around for that receipt, paint chip, etc. Have websites and phone numbers available for repair or support. What a great idea!! And it's only $19.99. If you're interested, check it out at: http://coggins.Hometree.hop.clickbank.net.