Destressing Christmas, Part 1 - Think through your expectations

As your anticipate the holidays, think through your expectations. Talk with your family members or those with whom you will be spending the holiday season. Ask what is important to them to celebrate at Christmas - activities, traditions, food, spiritual emphasis, giving, service opportunities, etc. This is the time to determine what is important to emphasize.

Make a list of all your traditions, from decorating to Christmas caroling. Keep the ones you love (forget about impressing other people), and cross off the ones you don't. I have a tendency to feel I needed to incorporate all we had ever done, but it's rediculous if no one wants to do it!

Be flexible when things don't fit with your expectations. Christmas Day doesn't have to happen on December 25th. When we lived in Kenya, we worked with an expatriot medical team who usually gave their staff Christmas Day off. So we celebrated Christmas as a team on other days. My husband and I are going to my parents' home for Thanksgiving, but have to fly on Thanksgiving. So we are celebrating on Friday instead of Thanksgiving. Our children won't be with us for Christmas, but we'll adjust.

Enjoy the moment rather than compare it to memories or expectations. Be present and relish what is happening. And if it's not the greatest, do what you can to make it pleasant. Be other-centered instead of self-centered.

Keep a sense of humor. I like things to match and I appreciate beauty. However, my son-in-law insisted on placing a very ugly decoration on the tree one year. I did manage to resist my urge to snatch it off the tree, and we left it on the tree for giggles. It has now become a tradition.

Be realistic!!! Know what you can handle and what you cannot. Each year is different. One year we were moving right after Christmas and our holiday traditions were very few. Other years I decided to have a theme - starts, hearts, trees, etc. But after a few years, the number of decorations were getting out of hand so I stopped that tradition. Don't hesitate to limit activities so you can enjoy the season!!

Tomorrow we'll think through family/friendship needs and commitments.